over the shoulder boulder holder

Some of you may remember Mya, or Mýa as she now wishes to be known (which as far as I can tell from three minutes on Google would be correctly pronounced either m-YAAH or mEAR), from her 2003 hit single "My Love Is Like... Wo", her star turn in Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, or her scenery chewing histrionics in 2002's "Chicago".

Even those of you who don't remember her will be pleased to know that the effervescent young model/actress/singer has decided to put her celebrity to good use. She has recorded the "Stop Breast Cancer for Life" campaign's first ever theme song, a catchy and socially relevant tune entitled "My Bra".

Although I'm all for supporting breast cancer research and/or awareness, I have to say that it is without a doubt the vilest and most saccharine pox ever thrust upon society. Allow me to share with you the chorus:

"My bra my bra my bra my bra
My light at the end of the tunnel
My bra my bra my bra
My legs when I start to stumble
My strength, my sun, my heart
When it's just too hard to take it
When it's just to hard to make it
Through another day
You're lifting me up
My bra my bra my bra"

Now, apart from the seemingly bewildering use of her bra as a metaphor (or substitute) for the love and support of friends and relatives, or her inference that should she be unable to walk, her bra will simply pick up the slack, don't you find it strange that she's singing not about breast cancer, or even breasts themselves, but about an item of clothing which holds the afflicted organs? How long do you think it is before we have Kanye West recording "My Jocks" in support of prostate cancer, or America Ferrera's hit charity single "My Glasses" to raise much needed funds for research into macular degeneration?

But wait kids, there's more. "My Bra" is the centrepiece of an advertising campaign and a much anticipated TV movie.

"...the song appears in the Lifetime original movie The Matters of Life and Dating, a humorous peek into post-mastectomy life starring Ricki Lake and Holly Robinson Peete, airing on Lifetime on Oct 22."

A humorous peek into post-mastectomy life? Okay. I'd buy that starring pretty much anyone else, but Ricki Lake? Have you seen Mrs Winterbourne? and Holly Robinson Peete, whose most impressive resumé entry to date is Hangin' with Mr Cooper? It's all too awful to contemplate.

I'll leave you now with Mýa's heartfelt perfomance of what is bound to be this year's biggest charity single smash, "My Bra".